Eloain Lovis Hübner: doll* etudes (2026)

Since the end of 2024, I have been undergoing gender-affirming voice therapy as part of my trans-feminine transition process. Unlike testosterone, oestrogen has no effect on the vocal apparatus: anyone wishing to develop a voice that is perceived as more feminine must undergo intensive speech and language therapy lasting several years. All the building blocks of voice production, all the parameters of vocal timbre–position of the larynx, pitch and prosody, position of the epiglottis, degree of vocal fold opening, strength of the glottal strike, formant structure, degree of twang, etc.–are trained individually and then reassembled. The ability to activate specific muscle groups is learnt from scratch, and greater control is gained over the vocal apparatus, which has been expanded in this way: everyone who goes through this process becomes an absolute virtuoso on a newly invented instrument! At the same time, trial and error, ‘failure’, frustration, fatigue and the feeling of constantly taking ‘three steps forward, two steps back’ are virtually inevitable, constant companions on this journey.

 

The doll* etudes offer a glimpse into various stages of the training process and treat both exercises that were mastered with ease and moments of frustratingly circling round a desired sound result as equally valid material. Uncontrollable factors and impairments to the voice caused by a cold or dry air (the recordings were made around the turn of the year 2025/2026) become just as tangible as its transience and mutability when compared with my current voice, which has already become yet another, ‘more advanced’ one (something one often only realises in retrospect). The ensemble’s instruments amplify the sometimes microscopic nuances of the practised vocal processes; through their careful and tender responses, they transform the discipline of practice into a delicate interplay; and they project the shifting categories of skill, mastery (and failure) from the transitioning voice onto themselves.

(Eloain Lovis Hübner)